{"id":228,"date":"2012-12-24T18:21:02","date_gmt":"2012-12-24T23:21:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/?p=228"},"modified":"2020-03-06T16:32:33","modified_gmt":"2020-03-06T21:32:33","slug":"nd-comedy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/nd-comedy\/","title":{"rendered":"0004 ND Comedy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We were so poor we didn\u2019t have tinsel for our tree. We just waited for Grandpa to sneeze. <em>Rodney Dangerfield<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Oh God, instead of a White Christmas, it may Rain Dear. <em>&#8211; ND<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe one thing women don\u2019t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.\u201d ~ <em>Joan Rivers<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cRoses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it weren\u2019t for Christmas, We\u2019d all be Jewish.\u201d ~ <em>Benny Hill<\/em><\/p>\n<p>A Jewish Dilemma: Free Ham.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMoney&#8217;s scarce, Times are hard, Here&#8217;s your f***ing Xmas card\u201d &#8211; <em>Phyllis Diller<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Honey, there\u2019s no football on Christmas this year. Don\u2019t worry Rudolph, I just put up the Tee Bow on top of the tree. &#8211; <em>ND<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cSanta is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.\u201d <em>George Carlin<br \/>\n<\/em><br \/>\nA Peter Griffin Christmas<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"420\" height=\"315\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/6B4oECAJ0ms\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>\u201cChristmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we\u2019ll be seeing six or seven.\u201d ~ <em>W.C. Fields<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cSanta Claus has the right idea. Visit relatives once a year.\u201d &#8211; <em>Victor Borge<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cI stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.\u201d ~ <em>Shirley Temple<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The Supreme Court ruled there cannot be a Nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn\u2019t for any religious or constitutional reason; they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the nation\u2019s capitol. \u2013 <em>Jay Leno<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Hookers celebrating Christmas: \u201cHo, Ho, Ho\u201d, \u201cSanta Clause is coming in town\u201d &#8211; <em>ND<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did; Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child. \u2013 <em>Woody Allen<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting. \u2013 <em>Mel Brooks<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And from God himself, <em>George Burns<\/em>: Happiness is having a large, loving, caring close-knit family in another city.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We were so poor we didn\u2019t have tinsel for our tree. We just waited for Grandpa to sneeze. Rodney Dangerfield Oh God, instead of a White Christmas, it may Rain Dear. &#8211; ND \u201cThe one thing women don\u2019t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.\u201d ~ Joan Rivers \u201cRoses are [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-08_nostradennis-comedy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=228"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":828,"href":"https:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228\/revisions\/828"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nostradennis.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}