0004 ND: Dude Wishes Beard a Merry Christmas

Dude 0003

0004 ND Photography

Christmas in New York City 2010

Christmas in NYC001     Christmas in NYC002

Christmas in NYC003     Christmas in NYC004

StatisTRIX 0004 ND

Last Thursday night Calvin Johnson broke Jerry Rice’s record for the most receiving yards in a single season. Calvin should be applauded for this great accomplishment. But, if you listened to the game on the radio, you’d have thought that the Lions won the game. They were going crazy when he made the record catch in the 4th quarter and gave the ball to his father. They were going crazy after the game and made him the “player of the game” There was only one thing was wrong about this. The Lions lost the game, and are now a dismal 4-11. The Falcons won the game 31-18, and in doing so clinched home field advantage throughout the playoffs, the number one seed in the NFC. Don’t you think they should have been talking about the Falcons a little more?

When asked about Calvin’s record on The NFL Today Sunday morning, former Cowboys coach, Jimmy Johnson said, records are nice. I appreciate players and their accomplishments, but they don’t mean much because you play to win the game. Hmm, sounds like a Herm Edwards line, but Jimmy Johnson did win two Superbowl’s and a national championship at Miami, so perhaps he even knows this better than Herm.

BTW, the list of receivers with over 1,600 yards in a season includes Calvin twice now. A couple of other great receivers are on this list more than once as well. But, the great Jerry Rice who set the old mark in 1995 is not. As great as Jerry Rice was, and for as long as he held this record (17 years) he’s only on that list once. He had that great year in 1995, but ultimately he preferred winning. And, he won a lot. 1995 must have been a special year, because when Rice set the record, two other players had over 1,600 yards as well. So much for stats and records.

Generally speaking, the more yards a Quarterback throws for in a football game is inversely proportional to winning the game.

Sacks: Sacks are a very misleading stat in football. Who can forget how Brett Favre gave Michael Strahan the all time record for Sacks in a season by laying down for him? His teammates never did. They were pretty pissed off at Favre. Well, the other night during the Niners/Seahawks game they announced that Aldon Smith, the SF linebacker who has 19.5 sacks, had none in the past two games. He has/had a shot at Strahan’s record. They went on to show Justin Smith, the Defensive Tackle, on the sidelines with an injury and said that he makes all the difference in the world to Aldon Smith being able to get the Quarterback. How true. Football is the ultimate team game. Like Chess, one move affects another. Without Justin in the game, Aldon was not able to get a sack. Football statistics only matter to those people who play Fantasy Football (a strange game, but fun for many). Coaches, like Jimmy Johnson re: Calvin Smith, couldn’t care less. In fact, they care more about the pressure their defense is putting on the Quarterback and how many times they alter his throw. A Sack may be for the fans, and fun to watch, but it is just another StatisTRIC in action! Watch the game, not the stats!

According to CNN, there are more Gun Shops in America than McDonalds and Supermarkets combined. I’ll take my AK-47 without onions please!

90% of the game is half mental. – Yogi Berra

The Consumer Price Index (CPI) was down 0.3% in November. Did you tell that to your landlord who was asking you for a rent increase?

Larry Sanders leads the NBA with 3.08 blocks per game. “Hey Now!”

0004 ND Comedy

We were so poor we didn’t have tinsel for our tree. We just waited for Grandpa to sneeze. Rodney Dangerfield

Oh God, instead of a White Christmas, it may Rain Dear. – ND

“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” ~ Joan Rivers

“Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it weren’t for Christmas, We’d all be Jewish.” ~ Benny Hill

A Jewish Dilemma: Free Ham.

“Money’s scarce, Times are hard, Here’s your f***ing Xmas card” – Phyllis Diller

Honey, there’s no football on Christmas this year. Don’t worry Rudolph, I just put up the Tee Bow on top of the tree. – ND

“Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” George Carlin

A Peter Griffin Christmas

“Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.” ~ W.C. Fields

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit relatives once a year.” – Victor Borge

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” ~ Shirley Temple

The Supreme Court ruled there cannot be a Nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn’t for any religious or constitutional reason; they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the nation’s capitol. – Jay Leno

Hookers celebrating Christmas: “Ho, Ho, Ho”, “Santa Clause is coming in town” – ND

I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did; Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child. – Woody Allen

I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting. – Mel Brooks

And from God himself, George Burns: Happiness is having a large, loving, caring close-knit family in another city.

Spin 0004 – ESPnd Sports

Are the NY Giants an enigma, or do they need an enema?

There is absolutely nothing wrong the with San Francisco 49ers Defense. Hey, they held Seattle to under 50 points didn’t they?

Hockey this season? Get the Puck out of here!

After Michael Oher got his third straight penalty on three consecutive plays yesterday for the Ravens, you had to be asking the same question ND was. Where was Sandra Bullock? Didn’t you just expect her to walk onto the field in her tight white skirt, pull Big Mike up by his face mask and say to him very strongly, “Michael, you have to protect the family!”

Speaking of The Blind Side, lets talk about something so silly and such an oxymoron that it’s ridiculous. It’s the term “Sports Genius”. First of all a “genius” does not need the word “sports” in front of his title. Einstein wasn’t a “Scientific Genius”. He was just a “Genius”. Just ask Sheldon Cooper that! There are only two known “Sports Geniuses”; Bill Walsh and Bill Bradley. That’s it. Others may qualify or come close but John Wooden and Phil Jackson would not only deny it, but admit they didn’t even create the system that made them so famous. Red Auerbach may actually be the definition of “Sports Genius”. In fact, if you looked up that term in the dictionary his picture would probably be there. But, Bill Walsh and Bill Bradley were just plain flat out geniuses. They just took their mind and in the case of Bradley, his body, into sports. Bill seems to be the name when it comes to Sports Geniuses. But, don’t for a minute think that Bill Belichick, Bill Parcells, or Bill James is in the same league as Bill Walsh or Bill Bradley. You probably know what Bill Bradley did, but to appreciate Bill Walsh, you need to read The Blindside, instead of watching the movie. The movie is about Michael Oher. The book is about Bill Walsh and how he truly changed football.

Andy Reid is considered a “good coach” by most, but he is certainly not a good “in game manager”. In fact, he’s one of the worst of all time. His team, down by a score late in the fourth quarter of Superbowl XXXIX didn’t even move with any urgency. And, he didn’t even stop the clock or do anything when Donovan McNabb was throwing up on the field during that drive. Sunday, the Eagles had three time outs on the final drive of the game and wasted them, losing the game when the refs took ten seconds off the clock with one second left because Nick Foles created a penalty by throwing the pass behind the line of scrimmage. What a way to end a game that they could have and almost tied. This leads to the question of what makes a good “Head Coach” in football or a good “Manager” in baseball? Many coaches and managers are good at either one of their two jobs; managing their incredibly overpaid and egotistical players, and managing the in-game situation. Not many are great at both. In baseball, this dilemma that General Managers had led to what is now called “The Bench Coach”. When will there be an “In Game Manager” in Football? Andy Reid certainly has needed one for a long time as have many others. Poor Andy though. When his son died in training camp it looked like the team was going to rally around that tragedy. Instead it turned into a nightmare of a season. Perhaps Andy should have just retired after his son’s death, or taken the year off.

Isn’t it ironic that both Seattle AND Green Bay have made the playoffs? Who can forget that famous finish at the end of that game that they say cost The Packers the game and possibly a chance to miss the playoffs. They call it the “Fail Mary”. Everyone was up in arms, and a few days later the replacement refs were gone and the “real” refs were back. That seems like ages ago. However, if you saw the Ravens/Giants game yesterday you’d realize that the replacement refs weren’t any worse than the regular refs. They just needed a little more experience. If they had the chance, the union could have been broken. Sometimes you get what you wish for. THINK ABOUT IT!

The Immaculate Reception: 40 Years Later:
Sunday was the 40th anniversary of one of the greatest and most unique plays in the history of the NFL. Terry Bradshaw, who threw the pass on the famous play, discussed it on The NFL Today in only a way he can; funny. And, his beautiful daughter Rachel sang the National Anthem in Pittsburgh before the game where the Steelers unveiled a very nice monument right at the spot where Franco Harris caught the ball (the old stadium has been torn down). However, we didn’t hear from Franco on The NFL today. That would have been cool. If you’re a football fan, and you are at least 50 years old, you most likely remember where you were when that famous play happened. It’s hard not to. It was so famous for so many reasons. First of all, no one actually knew if Franco Harris caught the ball clean or not. The refs tried but who knows what they really saw. You see, they only had basic instant replay back then. Coaches didn’t have the ability to challenge a call nor were there 30 cameras in the stadium to get all the angles. There was very little time left on the game clock. The refs had a meeting. They looked at replays. They had to figure out if Jack Tatum, the mean and great safety from the Raiders tipped the ball directly to Franco Harris, or if it hit off of John “Frenchy” Fuqua, the Steelers running back before Franco caught the ball. Back then the rules stated that it is not a catch if it hits another offensive player directly before the ball is caught by said offensive player. No one was sure and may not be to this day. But, one thing is certain. Thank God for Ed Sabol, Steve Sabol, and NFL Films. If it wasn’t for them, we may never even know if Franco caught the ball or it touched the ground. The replay shows him getting it, but it’s almost impossible to tell.

Here’s the original broadcast:

When you watch clips of that play, like they showed you on The NFL Today this past Sunday, you always see Bradshaw scrambling, then heaving it down field into Tatum’s chest. Fuqua is going for it at the same time. The ball bounces far off of Tatum’s chest, or Frenchy’s fingers, and then poof! Then we see a totally different film. It’s a bad edit job. Certainnly not directed by Martin Scorcese. You then see the NFL Films’ clip of Franco Harris grabbing the loose ball with his fingertips barely an inch off the ground and running into the end zone. Steve and Ed cleared up the catch, but we may never know if Frenchy touched the ball last or not. And, this is what makes reality “Legend” in the NFL and generally in all of sports. The mystery. The unknown. Did The Babe really point to centerfield and call his homerun? We’ll never know, but somehow, as years go by and the stories grow, it’s a lot of fun to hear the legend and to visualize it in your head. That mystery is forever gone in this “cell phone” world we live in now.

Here is the original play, but with the NFL Films edit of Franco’s catch built into it:

The Steelers lost the next week at home to the eventual Superbowl Champion Miami Dolphis 21-17. No immaculate intervention that week, but perhaps exhaustion from all the hype. The following year they lost to the Raiders in Oakland 33-14. Was it payback? Sure seemed like it, but the Dolphins won the Superbowl again. It wasn’t until the following year, 1974, when the Steelers won their first Superbowl, actually on January 12, 1975 (can you believe today that the Superbowl was actually played that early?) by beating the Minnesota Vikings 16-6. They went on to win many, many more. On the way to their first, they got back at the Raiders one more time in the Rubber Match winning 24-13 in Oakland.

The “Immaculate Reception” became legendary and changed the game forever. It led to instant replay, coaches challenges, rules changes, and replacement refs. But, the one thing it did better than anything else is leave John Madden speechless. Perhaps the only time in his life. Madden was the coach of the Raiders and on the losing end of that amazing play. Many years later the Raiders got the short end of another stick in the playoffs against the New England Patriots in what is now called the famous Tuck Rule. No need to explain that one in detail. If you don’t know it or didn’t see it or hear about it, you’re not a football fan. The Pats got the better of that call and went on to win the Superbowl and a couple more. So, the question is, how much did the NFL, and it’s owners and commissioners hate Al Davis, the so called genius owner of the Raiders and one of the most key men in AFL and NFL history? Apparently a lot. I’m sure those same owners and commissioners would have loved to have had one other call made against the Raiders in a similar situation. The play where Kenny Stabler fumbled the ball forward on purpose into the end zone where Dave Casper, “The Ghost”, recovered it. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending upon who you rooted for, the NFL, it’s commissioner, and the refs couldn’t think that quick on their feet that day. But, they did change the rules afterwards so that couldn’t happen again. Was there a conspiracy against Al Davis? Well, perhaps not, but perhaps you also believe in the Warren Report and the idea that Oswald acted alone! THINK ABOUT IT!

What are you favorite plays in NFL history? Which plays do you consider the most critical, important, and game changing? Here’s a list to ponder not in any particular order:

– Alan Ameche’s touchdown in the 1958 Championship game called “The Greatest Game Ever”. The Colts beat the Giants in the first nationally televised game at Yankee Stadium to win it all. It changed the game forever.
– Bart Starr’s Quarterback Sneak in the Ice Bowl behind Jerry Kramer’s famous block to beat the Cowboys in 1967.
– The Miracle in Music City (The Titans amazing kickoff return play vs. The Bills)
– The Catch (Joe Montana to Dwight Clark)
– Catch 42 (David Tyree’s amazing grab from Eli Manning that helped beat the undefeated Pats)
– The Fumble or The Miracle in the Meadowlands – Joe Pisarcik to Larry Csonka, to Herm Edwards who said famously one day afterwards and forever, “You play to win the game”!
– John Elway’s “Helicopter” vs. the Packers in Superbowl XXXII.
– One Yard Short – Tennessee Titans vs. St. Louis Rams to end the Superbowl.

Most of these plays changed the game. The Fumble changed the way teams end the game by kneeling down instead of handing off. Catch 42 was appreciated by the Miami Dophins and their fans probably more than Giants fans. The Immaculate Reception changed the way we use replay and the rules. So did the Kenny Stabler fumble. Speaking of “changing the game” or changing the rules how about some other examples: How about Kareem Abdul Jabbar, or rather Lew Alcindor at the time. They outlawed dunking the ball in college basketball because of him. Can you imagine being that good that they change the rules for you? He didn’t get upset. Instead he developed the Sky Hook and went on to score many, many thousands of points with it. So, when life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Alcinder did. Can you name anyone else they changed the game itself for? That’s quite an honor isn’t it?

Isn’t if funny how they give all of these plays little names? It’s indicative of every area of life. Everybody needs to label everything from people, to their diseases, their prejudices, their conflicts, basically everything. We are a society of labels.

0004 ND Pop Culture

Why does the Pope wear a yarmulke?

If Tim Tebow gets hurt, shouldn’t they cart him off the field in the Popemobile?

Did you see the “Eddie Money” Geico commercial? The question is, Does Eddie need the Money?

Mel Gibson doesn’t need to give the Jews a bad name. Goldman Sachs is doing a great job of that.

A Real American Dilemma: “Support the Troops”

Is a man sitting in a tree stand drunk and stoned shooting at a little baby doe really a sport?

Linday Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor? Hmm, what an interesting choice.

The New York Post is a very conservative newspaper run by Rupert Murdoch and News Corp. In fact, when Rupert was being chastised for the Phone Tapping Scandal in every newspaper around the world, the New York Post didn’t even mention his name. So, how come they put Wayne LaPierre, CEO of the NRA, on the front page the other day with the huge caption, “Gun Nut”? Is this their way of saying “we’re really sorry”, or is this the start of something big? THINK ABOUT IT!

Address the Ball: “Fore Scores and Seven Years Ago” Tiger Woods was a great Golfer. from the movie, Lincoln.

Has Two and a Half Men “Jumped the Shark”? Shouldn’t they change the name to “Two Men and a Skinny Dumb Kid?” Didn’t Charlie Sheen actually WIN?

Wasn’t coverage of the Vietnam War, the first “Reality TV”?

When did the Pound Sign (#) become Hashtag?

Will the world be singing “Satisfaction” to Mick on his 100th Birthday, or will he be singing it to President Beyonce?

After Superstorm Sandy, they found something very interesting on the Jersey Shore. They found Snookie. Apparently, the ocean took her out to sea, but rejected her and dumped her on the roller coaster that was in the ocean in Seaside Heights. She was as dumbfounded by “The Situation” as we all were.

What does Merry Xmas mean and why did they shorten Christmas?

A very Xmas to all, and to all a Good Night!

0004 ND Music


Feliz Navidad – Jose Feliciano


Silent Night – Barbra Streisand


White Christmas – Bing Crosby


Rocking Around the Christmas Tree – Brenda Lee


The Boss – Santa Clause is Coming to Town

121212 The Concert for Sandy Relief:
As the concert tonight for Superstorm Sandy relief ends, and the people file out of Madison Square Garden at 1:21am on 12.13.12, here are my thoughts about this semi-great event:

The Boss Came on Too Early!
He had to start the show, of course. Who else could? But, at 7:30 it was just too early. He should have come back after 10:00pm; after the amazing performance by The Who. But, he still was The Boss, performed as such, and spoke from his heart as only he could about Asbury Park (his adopted home) and the Jersey Shore. I’m sure Bruce thought of singing Fourth of July Asbury Park (Sandy), and many probably begged him to, but if he did, he made a wise decision not to. That just shows how smart and classy he is.

The Fat Cats On The Floor
It was sad and depressing to watch all the Fat Cats on the floor in front of the stage that they kept showing in droves. Was there anyone there under 50? Did 10% of these people even know the words to Born to Run? These so called Rock and Roll fans paid tons of money to stand there and feel as though they were doing something good for the Sandy victims, but they weren’t. They were only soothing their incredible egos so they could talk about it at the water cooler tomorrow or on Shitter or Wastebook!

The Mic Stupid
Bon Jovi, the other Jersey representative (where was Southside Johnny?) came out to sing Born to Run with Bruce but they didn’t have his microphone working properly until at least half way through the song. They messed that one up pretty good. Then Bruce came out to sing a song with Bon Jovi, but that was all for The Boss.

Twinkie Factory
As usual, Billy Crystal was great and started off the festivities with some very witty comments including jabs at Bloomberg and Chris Christie. Then later they showed Governor Christie with his family in the stands. I wonder what he paid for the 3 seats he needed just for himself? Do they charge him more on an airplane? If not, they should! And, kudos to Jon Stewart for saying “This is the greatest Chanukah party ever!”

Just Another Brick in the Wall
After Bruce, Roger Waters came out and absolutely stole the show, if you can do that before 8:30pm. He played and sang The Wall, Money, Us and Them, and then finished with the classic, Comfortably Numb with Eddie Vedder singing the lead. Shouldn’t there be a law that Comfortably Numb can only be performed and played after 11:00pm? An incredible performance, and the best of the night until Daltry and Townshend showed up.

Keith, Mick, and the Gravedigger
As hard as this is to say, it was sad to see Keith and his boys looking so old and decrepid. It sure wasn’t a Gas, Gas, Gas to me. In fact, it looked like they needed some Gas, Gas, Gas to fuel themselves up, or had some Gas, Gas, Gas, and needed to go to the bathroom after just 2 songs. The end is here boys. Face it. It’s very, very sad for everyone, but you need to stop playing.

Bell Boy Lives!
WOW! DOUBLE WOW!! While Mick and Keith can’t bring it any more, Roger and Pete certainly still can. Bell Boy with Keith Moon singing it with them on the screen behind them? Pure Genius! Maybe the London Olympics Committee wasn’t that nuts after all. This past spring they called Keith Moon’s agent to see if he would appear at the closing ceremonies. The fact that he’s been dead for 35 years didn’t seem to faze them. But, hey, maybe he’s not dead after all. Maybe that was him really singing tonight and he’s alive in Paris with Jim Morrison! That was spectacular, but it got even better. Baba O’Riley (Teenage Wasteland) took me right back to 1972, college, and The Spectrum where the “Cool One” and I saw The Who with some new group no one had ever heard of before named Lynryd Skynyrd. Then Love Reign O’er Me and Roger unbuttoning his shirt and swinging the microphone around? Man, it was 40 years ago if it was yesterday! Simply amazing and worth the price of admission alone. Age hasn’t gotten them, but death has. However, bringing The Moon back to life was fantastic! Bravo! Ole! Keith Moon and The Who Lives Forever!

My Wife Nancy?
Sir Paul McCartney exists in our lives for one reason these days. To end shows like these. He really looked extra thin. He must be working out with Bon Jovi who also looked incredibly skinny. But, good thing Bon Jovi didn’t give Paul one of his shiny black jump suits. If he did, they could have lip synched and performed as Milli Vanillli. Sir Paul played some interesting tunes for the event, but the strangest was a Valentine’s song he said he wrote for his wife Nancy (they call her McGill you know). His wife Nancy? Valentine’s song for Sandy victims in December? What about his long time wife and love of his life Linda who died of cancer? Very strange choice of words and song. He should have brought out Ringo to sing “It Don’t Come Easy” and “I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends”. That would have been much more appropriate and entertaining than Paul singing “Live and Let Die”. Don’t ya think?

Nirvana
A fantastic Nirvana reunion with McCartney playing Curt Cobain, but couldn’t they have picked a better song like Smells Like Teen Spirit, Lithium, or Come as You Are?

New York
A nice ending with Alicia Keys singing New York, but then she just thanked New York and gave best wishes to New York with no final mention of New Jersey. Still not a bad ending though to a very long show and evening that went pretty well for a live TV show.

Notables Missing In Action
Southside Johnny, Blue Oyster Cult, Dylan, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Neil Young, B.B. King, Leon Russell, Elton John, Jerry Garcia, 50 Cent, Snoop Dog, Nikki Minaj, Lil’ Kim, Spike Lee, The Donald, Tom Seaver, Mookie Wilson, Bill Buckner, R.A, Dickey, David Wright, Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, George Steinbrenner, Reggie Jackson, Billy Martin, Whitey Ford, Joe Namath, Wellington Mara, Eli Manning, Lawrence Taylor, Cazzie Russell, Earl The Pearl, Muhammad Ali, Ed Koch, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Son of Sam, and Son of God himself, Jesus Christ! And, most importantly, The Victims!!!

0000 ND: Schmoe Trades Sunshine

Traderschmoe0000

0000 ND: Dude Searches for God

Dude 0000

0000 ND: The World May Not End Today, But…

ND Thought: Man Wasn’t Here a Million Years Ago, and He Won’t Be Here a Million Years From Now

ND SAYS: The World May Not End Today, But it Surely Will

ND Anagram: NUTS = Never Underestimate Thy Son

ND Opposite: GUNS = SNUG

ND Math: Win At All Cost = All Will Be Lost

ND Words: Love, Compassion, Education, Responsibility, Passion (What are your 5 favorite words?)